Hippitty Hop...

Easter is almost upon us, and yet ANOTHER Sunday off for me...now I kind of like having one off here and there, but I think I am just so used to working them that it throws me all off! At least I don't have the entire weekend off (yes, I believe I just DID say that!...wow...with valid reasons, when I have a weekend 'off' I have 973401750 other things that come along to do! God forbid I have a day off to myself, right?)...but it's still slightly confusing to my overworked on the weekend's self. Easter should be fun this year! Hayley is really excited and I think she'll help Brady and get really into it (as long as she's not shoving him out of the way or throwing him down so she can get ALL of the eggs,we're good!). The Easter Bunny still needs my help with getting all the goodies and getting them together, so I'll do that tomorrow, along with the eggs and decorating them and such! I really should make a list so that I don't forget everything! It has been a trying few weeks with Hayley...maybe months? But either way, all of those blogs on myspace about being a bad mother are coming back to haunt me. It seems to be different things, but it's getting worse and more intense. She KNOWS what she is doing, I know she does. Between the backtalk and the attitude and the ignorance, I just don't really know what to do anymore... I try, I really do, but she pushes and pushes and my patience is already thin to begin with. I just fear something terrible, and I think that things are only going to get worse because it is too deep in and I don't know how to fix them. Every chat with the doctor is 'oh, that's normal'. Sorry, but clearly you did NOT learn about this in medical school, because come spend a couple of days in my shoes, and you will want to bang your head against a wall, HARD...and then bang someone else's even harder! She gives the babysitter an attitude, but mostly reports aren't TERRIBLE, so unless I am getting only part of the story, it is semi-rare, or at least dealable for her. She does it with Matt too...and of course there is ALWAYS someone who has an answer for how to fix it or make her stop, but nobody ever wants to HELP me fix it...I'm on my own in that department. That makes it all the more hard to fix! You try not to yell, but she just pushes on and you HAVE to...and then I scream like a freakin' maniac and then I get upset with myself...along with other feelings and actions and as much as I WANT to make things better, I just don't know how. I REALLY have tried SOOOO many things and without intervention of getting her OUT of being 'there' as much as she is, or having someone from the outside take a look at the situation, I REALLY just don't know anymore...I love her...obviously, but I miss her so much when she isn't here, and sometimes it is hard for her to understand that I imagine, because of the way things usually go when she IS here, because she has very little respect for me normally...and Matt...and things aren't handled as well as they probably should be, but really, I DO try and it is SO hard! NOBODY I know could possibly understand this...and it's painful to me...it's upsetting and it puts me in a terrible place and feeling...things HAVE to change...I just don't know where I get the fight I have to try anymore... Enough depressiveness, I just REALLY needed to get that out...I've been feeling terrible about it for a long time and more-so lately, probably because of other things going on... Anyway, looking forward to getting home from work (and helping out that bunny!) tomorrow and getting down to the fun stuff...oh, and to hear 'Daaaaaaddy's gonna pick me up on eeeeaaaaaster!'...LOVE THAT! --*me

Everybody's workin' for the weekend...

...except me!!! For once! lol... Too bad now I'm stuck home...well, with the kiddies, but really there's like nothing to do...we just got home from Allison's birthday bash, and made away with only smashing heads 2x's on the floor! Pretty good, right? lol...I would LOVE to go to Margarita's with the hubby when he gets out of work, but it's like finding a needle in a haystack to get a nightime babysitter...and I suppose money is slightly tight right now, but I don't remember the last time I went OUT with the hubby, and to me that is more important...okay I just remembered the last time, March 17th and it was to a concert with his bro and sis-in-law, so, really, not out US...no dinner out or anything, just some order in, overpriced pizza (which was good, but I REALLY didn't want any)... I'm all over the ... today, I don't know why! So, for now, B is sleeping, H and I are eating and M is at work, anyone wants to babysit tonight? They'll both be asleep (or damn close) by the time we could even go out, so it'd be nice and easy!!! --*me

Work work all week long...

So, basically...all I do lately is work and crash when I get home! Sucky, I know...however, some good things are happening...I took care of a 'situation' in my store, which I am proud of, as well as all the other good things that I turned around and/or made better there...overall, the last 7ish months were good ones work-wise, I always believed in myself to step into the Store Manager role and to do an A+ job, but seeing it happen makes it so much more exciting and uplifting. I wanna make a portfolio of what I've done and go back to the people who didn't believe in me, or thought I had plenty of 'potential' but never gave me a shot and say: plffflllttt...in your face! My store crushed our LY numbers the whole time I was there, and was VERY close to making our plan, another great thing to see a store that has a plan AHEAD of LY so much that we beat our LY AND almost made our plan! So, overall good there... Regarding the whole 'situation'...I learned a lot about trust...stuff I already knew but thought some people were better than...obviously I was WRONG! Can't trust hardly anybody! Not even people who have 'gone through a situation and know how to behave'...because apparently they don't care either! And apparently toher members of management don't realize the severity of their actions when they leak ANY information in an extreme situation! In the end, whatever I guess, everything that needed to be accomplished was pretty much accomplished and that's that...and now I'm off to bigger and better things!! Our new store opens at the end of April (prob more like first or second week of May) and I'm excited!!! It's the biggest store in the company (40k square feet...180 employees!) until our NYC store opens (that'll be 90K square feet...tons of employees!!)...I'll be a Co-Mgr instead of a SM, but really a bigger opportunity and I keep going up up up in pay and hopefully position! And who can complain about that! It really is nice to have faith behind you and a company with people who actually believe in you and invest in you genuinely! So, lots of work ahead, but good things! Two Saturdays off in a row (miraculously!) and that's awesome! I won't see that every again, unless I get out of retail, but ya know, that'll never happen! --*ADH

Jury Duty

Ahhhh...the dreaded 'jury duty'...you get your little card in the mail and most think 'ugh...this sucks', but me, I think 'saweeet! a day off from work and maybe something interesting that doesn't involve MY life sucking!' haha...at any rate... I went today, it was boring, we did nothing, I didn't get picked, nobody did and we all went on our merry ways in the frigid cold to our cars awaiting our parking tickets, and alas, no interesting day for me! I felt the need to write about it though, because first of all, the jury officer (I think that is what he was called) has been in his position for about 17 years and he STILL can't speak English well! Some of what he was saying was a struggle for me to understand, and I just don't get it...he was nice...but anyway, he and the judge that spoke with us kept talking about bringing us down from our 'high panic' to a 'normal comfort' ...I'm like, okaaaay...of course I was a little nervous about what could come, and I'm sure that others were as well, but do you really need to repeat yourself a bagillion times...by two people at that? Also, the judge kept going on about how it is a priveledge and a right and blah blah...funny how they forget to mention that if you don't show up or reschedule or whatever other options they give that they will HUNT YOUR ASS DOWN AND THROW YOU IN JAIL!! lol...Don't try to talk it up about what a great civil liberty and true democracy when you are going to make their lives even more miserable if they don't show up...it's a requirement...bleh... --Me