We're in single digit countdown {5} for my entering my third decade on this earth and I think I've settled down on the freaking out to be turning 'OLD', and have turned my efforts into trying to make better choices on where I wanna be with my life...some that have required tough decisions, ones I never thought I would have to make.
We all have our timeline dreams of where we think we will be and I've hit most of my timeline dreams...not by force, they just happened...and it's like my dreams are falling apart...but I think they've done so much damage that I'm at peace with it and semi-excited to be on to the next...The next {I would guess} year or so is about to be a whirlwind of hell and excitement and I just am so ready for it, yet so unprepared.
I do plan on celebrating the hell out of my birthday...it's on Thursday, and I'm hoping to be feeling well from then until sometime Monday morning :) And enjoying time with friends and a little bit of family...of course it's a big fiasco with the status of my marriage. I don't want him out with us...I want to enjoy myself and the combination of our past and the past few months and alcohol is just a REAL BAD one. And as painful as it may be, and as mean as it may sound without any backround it just needs to happen if I want to enjoy my birthday {{past events have included jealousy --which has since spiked insanely-- fighting, over drinking, blowing everything out of proportion...and I just don't wanna do that this year}}.
So, a little family dinner, a little Salem Happenings and a lot of Boston shenanigans and a bit of wishing I was going to the Pats game should make for a fun-filled fabulous dirty thirty celebration!
I will leave you with a song written by Phil Vassar and performed by Tim McGraw that I will live {mostly} through to coordinate my future life and dreams...
I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the
turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord
have mercy on my next thirty years
Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna
have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now
I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next
thirty years
My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry
a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate
and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty
years
**************************************************up to about here : ) lol
Oh my next thirty years, I’m gonna watch my weight
Eat a few
more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many
beers
Maybe I’ll remember my next thirty years
My next thirty years
will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my
wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for
lost time here, in my next thirty years
In my next thirty years
