Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Everyone lies, in one way or another...whether it be to shield someone for the best (or worst), to make a child do something they otherwise would not, just to be vindictive and so many other reasons! I can deal with the silly lies, but the ones that are deep really bother me. I am the type of person who never lets anything go...I may put it behind me, but the BIG (and personal) things really just poke at me forever, and they flare up my emotions from time to time, but they just sit with me... My ex-landlords STILL piss me off...it was a year ago now (almost) that the whole security deposit issue happened, but everytime I think of it I have to like, calm myself down and force myself to stop thinking about it... The entire of me and H's dad's relationship since we have not been together irks me...not that there are so many lies in it, but the money part of it (especially the most recent doings of him 'going behind my back' to take me to court and him 'lying' about his financials, and/or just not caring about doing anything more for himself for her, and also how he really isn't concerned with her well-being, but his own time with her)... But this post is coming about mostly because of a 'former' friend who's blog I just looked at for the first time in a long time and she's not writing too much anymore, but her latest post (almost 2 months ago) was one of those 'pokes'. Her and I were pretty close in that we could really talk about anything and just kind of vent to each other and hold our secrets with each other. She was very heavy and decided that it would be best for her to 'get the surgery', and she really didn't tell ANYONE about it, other than maybe her hubby and the docs of course. So, this was something quite deep that I was happy she shared with me and kind of reflects upon our relationship. When B was born, she helped out a few times watching him, as she hardly worked and is fabulous with children. Now, my husband and I both worked FT in retail, so we tried our best to make our shifts so that we had to have a sitter as little as possible. I guess the relationship with this friend went south the day she said to me, pretty rudely, something along the lines of, 'Isn't this going to be kind of a pain for you to do all the time?'...there was just so much intent behind it, that I didn't even care to speak with her...the situation my husband and I were in, we couldn't afford to spend day care money, nor did I trust some random person to take care of my children, I even offered to pay her and she never gave me a cost, so I didn't do anything...I told a mutual friend of ours (another person who fits into the title of this blog for so many other reasons), who I am now pretty sure told her my feelings on it and what I confided with her in regards to this and I'm not really sure what happened from there, but we really haven't been friends at all since then... So, to the point! She had the surgery, told some more people (employer, some family, and not sure who else) that she had this done, and along with getting the surgery there was a whole exercise and nutrition plan to go along with it before and after of course, and has since become an exercise/nutrition psycho...and I can understand being a little embarrassed/ashamed of having this, BUT when you have turned your life around SO much because of it and have been so active in making sure that you don't ever go back to your prior state, you think you would fess up to this 'secret', ESPECIALLY when you are such an 'honest', 'god-loving' person...but instead, she still goes on and on and on that this nutrition program and a ridiculous amount of exercising is what made her 'who' she is today, and it just pisses me off! And when I just read the blog I just read about it being a year later (or whatever it was) and once again praising the program for her state I kind of flared up my aggressions...lol... I just think for someone to be 'true' and genuine, you have to first be true and genuine to and about yourself and if she can get over that hurdle then I will gain back a ton of respect for her.